Thursday, November 30, 2006
wala lang hehe

site
You entered: Michelle Marie Mendoza

There are 20 letters in your name.
Those 20 letters total to 101
There are 9 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 2

The characteristics of #2 are: Cooperation, adaptability, consideration of others, partnering, mediating.

The expression or destiny for #2:
A number 2 Expression gives you the tools to work very well with other people. Your destiny is in the role of the mediator and the peacemaker. In many ways you are dependent on others and seem to function best in a partnership or in some form of group activity. Modesty runs deep in your nature, and you can work comfortably without recognition of your accomplishments. Often, others get credit for your ideas, and this is of little real concern to your since you are such a willing team player. As you grow in this direction, you become sensitive to the feelings of others, you are ever diplomatic in handling complicated situations. Cooperative, courteous, and considerate, you have the capacity to become an outstanding facilitator. You know how to organize and handle people. You are a good detail person because you rarely overlook anything. Tactful and friendly, nearly everyone likes you.

The negative 2 personality can be over-sensitive and easily hurt. Too much of this number in your makeup can make you very shy and uncertain. Sometimes the excessive 2 energies makes one apathetic and somewhat indifferent to the job at hand; the ability to handle details is hampered in these cases.

Your Soul Urge number is: 1

A Soul Urge number of 1 means:
Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.

The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.

The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.

Your Inner Dream number is: 1

An Inner Dream number of 1 means:
You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

wala lang2

its 3:49 am and im still up...mainly with the beliefe that there is no school tomorrow and if there happens to be school...boy im screwd. but anyway i actually log on to blog with the intent to rant about what ive been feeling but suddenly ive lost the erge to write it... this guy really made me feel better and if your ever in the dumps visit his site... he has REALLY funny stuf at ---> HERE yup thats the one..he's so fucking talented. anyway...haha okay ill think first...

3:57 am
im back and aftr thinking right now im honestly, sad...though this may sound so stupid and my reasons may be of the lowest and most unreasonable of sort...i am... stuf just dont seem to be turnning out the way i planed them to... well not really planed, more on...thought they would... and im guessing that the stupidest thing i could do is write it here...a very public place...but i've never really been known to know when things were appropriate... and what do i care what you think? (i might but lets just say that to add effect ^_^) writing this may actually help me get over it...since i cant really tell anyone...well i could but right now isnt the time...everyone is busy and everyone, i know, has their own problems...who am i to take up their presious (sorry cant spell...it seems right though...i hope :P) time... :)

warning: just rants no events...no special moments...my life through my eyes...for i can see no one elses as clearly as my own...after many nights and days spent awake with my thoughts ...eyebags developed and thoughts circulated...evenings not studing...school hours spent sleeping...this is what ive come up with...to reasons why am on a regular basis sad...and happy as well... actually im just kidding ^_^...it just sounded nice in my head...

well reasons for my "current" possition:

First would be that i have no inspiration...its been so long since ive drawn something decent...and sometimes you just have to wonder if there ever was...

[ANDDDD....MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! i deleted the rest and pasted them in another post somewhere in this blog >:) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wala lang felt like being evil and if you havent read them yet...YOU HAVE TO FIND THEM >:) MWAHAHAHAHAHA wala lang... and if you dont want to read them i just saved you from having to read them :)) hahaha...gash...nakakahiya din sabihin yon sa internet buuut there here :P...
CLUE: there at some post concerning fastfood...hahaha at nasa pinakababa nung post :)]

hayy...anyway haha sige...^_^ you know im kind of feeling better...i guess getting it out of your system is the first thing...then next is sleep God i need to sleep...5:58am...haha wala lang time check... :)) labo sige TTFN ^_^

Wednesday, November 29, 2006
confused...

... growing up i was thought to try to make every thing as fair as possible...that since the world, as most people percieve it, is unfair, we should try our best to make it so that it is fair and not follow what is percieved by most...but apperently i was a stupid idiot for thinking so...i used to think that atleast everyone tried to be fair but apparently no...some believe that everyone is out to get a part of their share so they act in the same greediness that they think others are acting out...not everyone is like that im sure...but still when you try to be fair and you keep on getting trampeled on it gets hard sometimes... haha but i am not a saint for sure ive done my share of selfish and unfairish ways...haha im just being dramatic im sure...

anyway on with the day ^_^

today we had pe (yay) at thanks to the amazing people who made the dance (coughangela) (coughangel) dancing infront of a crowd wasnt so bad...the dance was really good (well in my opinion then again i could be bias..not sure sa spelling...) hahahaha we had to dance infront of lots of people becuase we were down at the caf...not that fun...but i guess when your classes lowest grade was 95 how could you complain? hayyy...haha nothing is happening...just alot of tests comming up and alot of other things...tom no classes...im sad for section 5....na cancel kasi reco nila...again...

oh yeah yesterday i went to guidance to have career talk...yeah that helped... -_- all i found out is that ms..uhhh...virgie.. i think thats her name...doesn't believe that women should be housewives...and just that...shes the type of person who thinks everyone/woman should have a career to be happy. hay.... honestly it was kind of anoying to have to stare at her face for almost 1 hour... she said something that kind of pissed me off "kung magiging nun ka sayang naman yan superior iq mo"(yes im considering becoming one im more into the helping out the poor and homeless kind of thing not the praying my ass off...but i could do that if needed...maybe :)) ...pero di muka no?) so ano yon?? just because you have the potential to be smart and you do something that doesnt necesecarily requier you to be a genious (who cant spell) doesnt mean im throwing my life away...and when i mentiond just being a home mom she started blabing about being bored at home with nothing to do since i am educated and that i could find a job/ "career" that would let me work at home... /:) halatang she doesnt really like the whole mom idea and being a house wife...i like, so screw you...haha just kidding we all have the rights to our own opinions... what else happened when we talked :-? well im deciding between graphic design, psycology or a teaching degree then i might be a nun or a house wife (which sadly requiers a husband) or i might brave the industries... haha im still not sure..see the problem is i dont know what i like or wether ive got what it takes to take up psyc...or be a teacher or a missionary or a mom...or if i have the creativityness needed to be a graphic designer...i actually want to write but i know i dont have what it takes for that... anyway...oh yeah i remembered something also...when i mentioned marying some guy so i wouldnt have to work she gave that dissaproving glace then i said ofcorse there has to be love first but she still gave that annoying look... man :| you just know it when people dont like the idea of a stay at home mom...hahaha anyway sige me going na actually di ako aalis pero might as well stop this too long post....

man the prom nga pala...i still dont have a date...shit...anyway...heart aches not for the reason of prom but beacuse of all the little stupid things ive been doing...im so sory honestly...

Monday, November 27, 2006
a little catching up

sorry for the late post...though i dont really have a good excuse...and i know it sounds so dramatic by now and it may seem like im lying... but things just havent been that great (to those who asked before if i was okay i wasn't lying i actually was sleepy also...haha ang dali ko maantok...) ...sure i mean somethings were amazing...a few but some...and somethings where down right depressing and some were just my paranoia working up...hahaha anyway lets get on with making kwento.

November 18, 2006 sat,
SABU'S CELEBRATION...1 week before her actual birthday...
This was actually sooo much fun God...i mean their church is so amazing...not that im saying that ours stinks...theirs just has an air to it...(not the aircon haha labo...) anyway we all had fun there...i mean i actually thought about my belief in God in those moments...it was quite enlightning...i remember things i tried to forget and apreatiated things i thought were gone...haha labo i almost cried but thank God i learned the trick with the breathing thing ang the blinking eye things...haha then after that we went to sabu's thingy...not house...then we played games like... araw, gabi(na masaya at nakakapagod)...ice ice water(na walang katapos tapos)...agawan base(na hindi ako gumalaw)...dengue (na parang walang point) hahaha tapos nag parang concert sila sabu and band...grabe sooo galing nila... =P~ haha nakakatuwa panoorin... well after ng mga games at masasarap na pagkain umalis na...(from the planed 8:30 naging mga 10:15 so ano yon /:) grabe pero masaya....) nung nasamalapit na mcdo na kami super lumakad kami over the bridge... :(( super natakot ako...maiyak iyak na ako....kala ko pa tatawid namin yung mahabang part...super di na ako makatingin anywhere...hayyy buti natapos yon...nagspend ako ng time sa mcdo by myself after umalis na si Fran at Angel....haha nagisip ako...at kumain ng ice cream...

November 22, 2006 wed...wala ako sa bahay late na nakauwi
Nag ip meeting kami this wed...nag commute kami ni sarah galing bus nya to kila jas super ang daming usok man...pero masaya nadin...haha tapos nung pumunta kami sa bahay nila grabe ang pagwala namin nakakaawa yung nag drive...ilang tao din ang tinanong namin...nung sa bahay na ni jas kung mag malikami ng salita walang katapusan haha ang funny nadin non...kasi wala lang funny... :P haha may nagawa na kami pero not the actual project so still a long wa to go...

November 23, 2006 thurs. ...again wala ako nakakapagod na
nag work on the booth today i was part of the group which was alowed to work in the booth outside...pero becuase of my shy nature (yak feeling shy) ang dali madominate ako so yon nadominate nila ako yung mga taga sec 2 not that im complainning...maganda naman yung ginawa nila :) so nag help nalang ako with sec 4 ^_^ gumawa ako ng lab lp nung mga lunch...dapat kasama ko "sila" pero sabi ni sarah na gagawin nya eh since wala syang kasama at madami namang magkasama sa "sila" hinintay ko nalang si sarah...tapos hindi na sya bumalik...hayyy so sinong hinintay ko? pero okay lang sakin i guess kasi dami naman talaga nya ginagawa para sa fair... haha so nung bumaba ako sa lab madami sa "sila" umaalis na thank God nan doon pa si cheche, richel at angel...at si mis patty at ms. HEBRON grabe life saver nya...haha so natapos ko na yung lps ko with their help. :)

after non pumunta kami sa bahay ni fran at nag dance ng chacha...ata...well super masaya haha its dorky to say pero nung pinapanood ko si angela at angel sumayaw may na feel ako na something parang ang wow panoorin :P haha wore highheels for the first time thanks to fran and angela i think...haha ang hirap dude bakit pa naggaganyan ang babae?? hayy di nga healthy yon eh :( anyway super sarap din nung pagkain nila fran... =P~ shit nagugutom na tuloy ako...may pinagusapan doon sa dinner table...(na dating pingpong) napaisip ako...haha di ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko...di ko na alam kung hayyy...ill find out soon nalang kung anong gagawin ko...salamat angel sa kagat ng cloudnine at fran sa banana ang sasarap =)) labo yun pa yung naalala...so umalis na after ng pratice at tinext ko kuya ko na 11 nalang...well nung nag 10 nan doon na sya parang ako o_O what the?? well haha turns out kakarecieve lang nya yung message kahit mga 9 namin na send... haha sayang wanted to watch/ help kung may matutulong nga ako para sa boogie... :P ang cute nila panoorin na sumayaw..haha bait ng parents ni angela...

November 23, 2006 friday...again late nakauwi di ko na naeenjoy ang bahay ko
well kasi this wasn't really a happy time...well haha ill start with saying isa lang na ride ko...yung octupus...and kapatid ko pa kasama ko...not na ayoko yon pero iba kasi pag kaibigan kasama... ako panaman yung tipong tao na okay maubos yung pera basta nakaride na masaya...well yun..kasi yung mag kasama ko di into rides...tapos nung nag rides nga kami...silang dalawa yung mag kasama...tapos wala akong kasama...hahaha...anyway...i guess yung consolation nyon ay na nag laro kaming basketball/vollyball/ touchball sa multi...haha fun i guess...nalungkot din kasi ako kasi di nabuo group namin...oo nga pala doon sa multi nung na shoot ko yung bola sa hoop nag stick sya doon sa dulo parang kami o_O shit pandak kami di namin abot...tapos may super hot na matangkad na guy na tumulong samin...hahaha :)) grabe bait naman...pero may girlfriend ata haha at 4th year na... :P well yon...nung nag band...malungkot ako kasi sakit ng tyan ko at masuka suka na ako... :( grabe at ayaw parin nila mag rides... well yon... haha we watched the band na hindi ko maspell (yung kila sabu :P) at yung 3rd year dance group at mind this pinanood ko yung dance kahit alam ko sisigawan ako nung masungit na 3rd year samin... haha pero still it was worth it kasi ang astig nila nasa harap ako at i watched them in their greatness...super ang astig nung dance nila...

November 25, 2006 sat...wala uli sa bahay...again...well dont wana be home anyway so its not that bad...but still you get the feeling of missing a home...wether it actually is there or not...labo nag dradrama pa daw kunwari... :P
nothing much to say kasi again di ako nakapag ride...well di yan completly ture pero di ko na ride yung pinaka inaasam ko... :( grabe...haha well nung umaga nasa booth lang ako na todo tapos nung dumating si richel (thank God kasi wala akong kasama...) umalis kami to go to her shift naman sa fair...man na trauma ako sa mga kalesa people o_O ang shit nila...man...kung mag asar feeling career na... bweset... sinabi bang maganda ang hindi at nag pa picture pa at other weird and inapropriate coments to me and richel...hay 2 free rides sa kalesa which wasnt so fun becuase of the strange glances na nakuha ko from rapist looking people...(sorry...natakot lang...haha nainfluence ako ni richel) . next napasift kami sa inflatable (haha galing no di ako rides com pero nagshift-shift ako) well yon... masaya nag inflates din kami for a few muinites nung walang nag rirides...hahaha walang nagpapalit after a while nung tapos na 1 hour...so nag angal kami haha yung pinaka nakakaasar doon nung nag palit nga nung time na mag mga grapong lalaki na dumadaan parang kami o_O WTF?? ang ganda ng timing nyo no?? ngayon pa kayo dumating mga magpapalit samin??? haha wala lang...ang inet kasi non... so yon...umalis kami ni richel para kumain...tapos pumunta sa booth stall thingys sa fair..grabe din si richel bumili...pero sweet dahil para sa mga kapatid nya yon.... well halos masuka na ako non at super masama pakiramdam ko kasi basa likod ko tapos ang lamig ang yung amoy nung things nakakasuka...so super happy ako nung umalsi na kami doon... yung usapan mag rirides kami...pero dahil hindi nakuha ni richel yung free nya..wala akong makasama...super pinalungkot na ako nyon...maiyak na ako..haha ang babaw pero still i love rides...tapos di man lang ako nakapag rides...well nag shift nalang ako sa booth...minsan may hot na guys na mag lalaro so okay yon...pero yun lang nung umalis si richel wala na akong kasama from 5-8 so me very sad na...haha i know pwede ako seguro sumama sa iba...pero nahiya ako...understand ko naman na fault ko ang feeling ko na pagiging sad...not blaming anyone :) anyway...yon umalis ng 8 nakauwi ng 9:30 o_O super pagod so natulog ako kaagad.

November 26, 2006 sun...maaga umalis at 5:30 na nakauwi
today was something of a relife and somthing that reminds me that i have to enjoy what i have now...haha went to lolas...then went to hospital...hahahaha...my brother dislokated his shoulder thanks to my cousin...:)) that was kinda funny (it happend at my lolas) buti nalang the clinic near our lolas was able to fix it kaagad...so we were still able to go pa... i hate hospitals...hahaha anywy...after non went home then pumunta ako sa omikron ( a computer place) kung saan tinype ko yung AP ko kasi sabi ni fran super important at kailangan na talaga..:)) ang bagal ng internet doon... :)) anyway...yon lumakad ako pauwi...tapos nung nasa gate na ako sabi nung gaurd "wag kang lalakad dyan magisa may mga mumu..." o_O parang ako WTF???!?!? sinabi mo pa???!!!! bakit????? grabe super ang dilim pa naman non at yung mga lamp sa taas nawawala wala....nako habang lumakas ako Our Father ako ng Our Father haha grabe tapos isang beses nung palapit na ako doon sa isang super mahabang way na madalim amy nakita akong nag bike out of no where tapos nawala doon sa darkness tapos biglang may car na dumaan na my head lights tpaos walang tao doon o_O parang ako SHIITTT!!!! haha anyway sa super takot ko tumakbo nalang ako pauwi at nag dasal...haha

November 27, 2006 mon
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABUUU!!!!!
super boring na kung ako...masaya i guess haha a bit kasi well nag games sa CAI at kung ano at birthday ni sabu...hahaha nung pauwi tinakot kami ni richel by getting all white ang creepyly scary... :( hope she gets better... nako...wala lang so happy na ang open na comp namin... :P hahaha

sige TTFN (ta ta for now) labo....haha si tigger yan :)) yak from winnie the POOOh... :P sige aalis na ako masyadong ata humaba to :P

Friday, November 17, 2006
grades at wala lang

today dapat daw pupunta kila angela para sa pe...gusto ko talaga pumunta pero kasi naman...haha late ko na nalaman tapos...kuya ko nagplano mag party today. so walang transpo...so di ako makakasama. today nag bagong seating arangements katabi ko na si ate kay. yay :) kahit sa super likod okay lang sakin ^_^ kahit kailangan ko gumamit ng libro pang patong para makakita okay lang sakin din. haha... pero baka magpalit kami ni sam...ewan ko doon. di nga sya dapat doon ang kulit...hahaha

anyway today din walang gaanong nang yari...nag drawing ako sa club...haha cute naman...sort of... 1st time ko kasi gumamit ng colors...cray past ata yon... haha which ever way you spell it. :P haha mukang pang christmas. anyway. yung grades ko nga pala....haha okay yung iba di okay yung iba... ako nga naman yung mga major extremes...kulang nalang may bagsak ako. sige ito na ang mga ito...

Values Education : 87 (+1)
Filipino 79..( -6, unang line of 7 ko sa highschool life)
AP: 87 (+1)
Eng: 82 (-3)
chem: 93 ( +1, kind of dissapointed...was hoping for a 95)
Math: 98 (+3)
PHEM: 89 (-3, badtrip pang papanget ng grades...)
T&L E: 90 (+0)
Ave: 88.125 (-o.75)

grabe yung nakakatawa pa dyan parehong ave ko 88 kahit maka 85 man ako sa fil...haha wala lang... well yan yung mga grades ko...haha puting them here parang im finaly letting them go...haha there i cant change them...and see im not that smart but nor am i dumn. 88...im like the average of average. haha...mga naka 90+ avegrages dyan see your so much smarter than me. remember average yan ng 8 components kaya to get a higher average kailangan ko ng 8 more points sa subjects ko para lang tumaas ng 1 point. hayyy hirap nga naman.

okay so alam mo ba ang funny ng mail ko parati akong nakakakuha from "Belmont Abbey College" so parang ako...uhhh okay...pupunta akong abbey para mag college? belmont pa...haha well wala alng ang funny...nag iinvit sila... grabe anyway speaking about mail may nakuha ako... sabi nya after ko ianswer some questions :

"Hello marie! Here are the answers to the selections you have chosen above.

Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your lovelife is soon to blosoom. You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at time but will be the best thing for you, you will be glad for the change."

meron pa yan sinabe pero yan yung ipapaste ko lang >:) hahaha labo di ko sinend forward kasi nakakaasar na mga forward messages eh...

anyway gusto ko lang ishare...hahaha

grabe my head feels better...kakakain ko lang ng dinner pero parang walang pumasok :( dony feel hungry full or anything... anyway sige aalis na ako...nag dodownload nalang ako ng game. :P

Thursday, November 16, 2006
head ache...

head hurts like shit right now. :( God ang sakit. i just came from our ip meeting where we figured out that we might have to change the objectives of our project. which actually means we might have to actually repeat everything...joy...but we're actully getting lots of help from one of sarahs friends so thats really a big help. God with out her we might just be crawling on our hands and knees begging for help.

grades will be next post nalang...kasi my head really does hurt...aral nalang seguro ng ap...tapos tulog na... hahaha... may na drawing ako sa paint which i like...kahit ang basic...haha lagay ko dito...bakit? kasi gusto ko >:) MWAHAHAHAHA....







thats all for now bye bye

lie...but never forget you lied

grabe may funny kwento ako /:) kasi naman oh...parang super diba so late na ngayon...mag twetwelve na...pero gising pa ako...not that nagaral ako or anything pero gising lang ako...tapos nabasa ko sa blog ni sam na nag neopets sya...so naalala ko na may neopets din ako. so na excite ako ivisit uli kasi super starving na seguro mga pets ko...haha nung summer ko pa yon last na ginalaw...putang ina alam nyo ba? may bagong feature ang neopets...IMPORTANT ANG BIRTHDAY!!! tang ina...di ko naman maalala yung birthday na sinabi ko... /:) sorry lier ako minsan eh...grabe wala ata akong sinabi...paano na yon? gusto ko panaman pets ko :'( nakakamiss... grabe well yun lang...naexcite ako...tapos nalungkot...haha ang babaw :P grabe

well next time nalang yung grades... :| dahil di gumagawa ang neopets na badtrip ako... so ayoko mag sulat... hehe sige byebye muna :P

Tuesday, November 14, 2006
experiences

okay so this day was so memorable in so many ways. haha i guess ill start with i finally got my blanket from sila sarah...thank you so much..makakatulog na ako. baka umokay na mood ko pag nakatulog na ako ng maayos. haha okay so yan baka umayos na mood swings ko.

then sitting arangements inayos din. so tom na gagawin daw. im kind of in the middle with this kasi di ako sure kung makakaya ko yung nasa giled at dulo :'( kasi maantokin ako at tamad. nasanay na rin ako na ang dali kausapin ang mga teachers *sir andie at ms hebron....awww ma mimiss ko sila. haha parang never na magkikita pero pramis iba talaga ang feeling ng harap sa likod. i've been to both na...ang saya sa harap. god bulag pa ako so ano yon? shit naman. haha pero okay naman katabi ko si ate kay. haha saya. mabait naman at matalino sa eng. s0 makakatulong kami sa isat isa. haha sayang di sya magaling sa fil na todo. kailangan ko panaman yon.

sunod yung sa chem alam nyo ba na naka 94 daw ako. excluding ee...grabe sayang kasi naman lahat na 90+ ko (salamat ip group mates ang galing nyo talaga) pero bigla pag dating ng mga quizes 75 o_O so parang haha di man lang naka 80 :)) sayang talaga. grabe bweset na lab kung nag aral lang ako. :P oh well.... hahaha.

tapooooosssss... ito na yung pinaka remembrance ko ng day na ito. nung pumunta kami sa school "nila"..haha joke...di ko lang maalala yung pangalan eh. delapaz ba? anyway. grabe nung pumunta kami parang walang masyadong planed as in wala talaga. sory na.... well nung pumunta kami sa class parang woah... ang raoudy talaga nila. super walng oras na lumipas na hindi sila maingay, tumatayo o tumatago doon sa likod na may curtain thingy. tapos meron pang mga nag crostitch. ang hirap talaga ekeep in order. tapos may nag insulto sakin o_O pinagtawanan the way i talk...alam ko naman may defect ang aking pagsasalita...so wala akong mareact sa kanya. sinabi ko nalang na ganyan lang talaga ako mag salita. so hindi lang ako naging freak non dahil may sinasabi sila about sa pagiging left handed ako kundi ang funny din ng pagsalita ko. sooo sarap patayin pero walang magawa. thank God nalang sa mga mababait doon...kahit iilan lang sila...tapos nung paalis na kami ni patty sa classroom parang nung nasa pinto na kami sinarado nila yung pinto at nilock at binoblock nila yung pinto so kami ni patty o_O OMG!! haha pero thank God binukas din yung pinto. tapos tumaas kami sa stairs para hanapin ibang classmates namin nung bumaba kami may isang bata nag tambay sa stairs habang bumababa kami. napansin ko na may hinahawak sya sa shirt nya...shit parang mukang baril promise kasi nakita ko yung dulo as in yung mukang end ng baril yung may butas ang everything at yung pag hawak nya parang baril din...haha tapos lumalakad kami diba pababa ng stairs parang finofollow kami with the "mukang gun" shit natakot talaga ako. as in yung takot na dasal na nagmadali ako. nakakaasar din kasi di napansin ni patty. grabe naman...pero seguro toy gun lang yon still ang shit non...

haha naalala ko pa yung time noon na naingit ako sa mga nagkaroon ng mga "experience" sa mga schools na ganyon. grabe never an ako maiignet first time ko magkaroon tapos ganyon...grabe naman...na trauma na ako...haha kahit sounds oa haha first time eh...at nakakatakot talaga pag nan doon ka sa moment. hehe so anyway

card day tom at i know unsatisfactory ang mga ibang grades ko...im not saying all...some lang naman. pero yun pa yung mga subjects na minsan minsan lang nag kakaroon ng bagsak so hindi yon nag aadd sa "feeling normal" feeling ko. haha pero happy still ako kasi wala namang bagsak or anything like that. haha kala ko talaga bagsak sa fil pero noo daw so thank God talga. well as usualy ipopost ko dito ang mga grades ko no matter what...haha wala lang this ritual kasi lets me practice letting go at accepting so haha helps me helps well...actually haha ako lang ata..unless curious kayo sa mga grades ko :P

sige thats all for now... bye bye :D

P.S.
haha ang funny pala pag invis ka sa ym...wala lang iba talaga ang feeling parang nakikita mo sila pero di ka nila nakikita. haha wala lang. may stange na feeling....tanong...pag sumakit puso mo...anong meaning non? meron ba? ewan ko ba....basta...haha labo anyway sige aalis na ako...bakit? wala lang...haha feel ko lang...

Monday, November 13, 2006
an open book

(hi...)

...thats a nice feeling. it kind of makes you think doesn't it...if what you said was apropriate or if the timing was right or if it made a difference. but then again i've never been known for thinking before i act or acting at the right time either. so that really isnt that big of a change for me.

nothing really happened. got too hyper during the math period and depressed and sleepy during chem...a bit then miss activities cheered me up...didnt use too much brain power so that helped. haha. then well belated happy birthday to fran and ishia..haha wala lang :P just felt like saying.

right now everything seem to be chatching up. haha, it all seems too much yet you know deep down it actually isnt. hating doing ip...never liked it. will probalbly rot at the site of my filipino book soon :( i hate researching...so much suckiness involved in it.

haha kidding life isnt that bad. i have it preety good compared to saome i guess. oh yeah...haha right now im asking my dad to make me an exuse letter just in case i get a difficulty to allow me to get it myself. haha wala lang...walang makakakuha ever eh. kaya ako nalang :) anyway sige that basically whats happening...well...actually yeahh...haha sorry for the labuanness... :P

Saturday, November 11, 2006
well beyond brain damage

We had the math camp yesterday and it wasn't all that fun...well it was at some points... but really? i felt stupider than i have in a while. i mean this just proved how little i knew about math. and that really not alot. ugh... hmm during the games miss opin. was one of the only teachers where i enjoyed...we sort of it was too short to actually tell. but it was okay. then well being with my friends was fun i guess... sorry feeling stupid really doesn't put me in a good mood. e didn't win but that really wasn't the goal... we missed cheche :( she was sick...

see we missed her...






then me and sarah had the ip meeting. it was more of a sucking out my brain and leaving confusious behind reather than the im being filled with knowledge..feeling . great. it wasnt really that progresive coz at the meeting we realized that we needed to research alot and alot of things where missing so that wasn't all that great...but atleast something happened... yeah well it time to do things now rather than later...
oh yeah koka was there and she was sooo cute though she had a problem that wasnt really that big of a deal... haha she slept in the room and was very active...haha i remember one of my lines to her. oo nga pala sarap ng pagkain sa bahay ni sarah. =P~

backtrack...
we had the parish thing yesterday and it was like shit waiting in the toilet bowl to be flushed. nothing happened and we wasted all that time staring into the sky..i have exactly two other parishers...weee...we were all very silent...

silence...
many people cant take this...many can as well... just becuase you cant doesn't mean your insecure...just becuase you can doesn't mean it either... but sometimes it does...i dont really get the point of what im saying... anyway thats about it...theres nothing really to say... just bored sleepy tired sad and simply not in the mood...you know the feeling of just stepping away and wishing no one would notice..thats how i feel right now...hay...just another one of thoes days...im not even sure whats worse...feeling this way...or being used to this feeling...

bye :)

Wednesday, November 08, 2006
rain drops

making mistakes is part of the game and finishing it is the last step
...whether your ready or not

so many things have happened in (or i could be exagerating) and i could be here ranting about all the stupid things that happened and i could be here praising and thanking God for all the good things that did...but right now my heart aches...it aches for all the things that seem to be unsaid...it aches for all the things it has yet to know and to complain about the things it already has the great joy in experiencing, whether it was good or bad, would be like saying it wasn't worth it...when in fact all thoes tears and laughter wouldn't be change for anything in the world. (unless ofcoarse it was world peace. or something along the lines). i will share some of the things that happened haha thats actually the point of this blog. i just wanted to say out those things...and even if my grammar might be wrong or that my spelling makes you stupid. i wrote it anyway coz well im selfish. :P

(now i will start rantting and saying many things that might or might not go againts what i gust said)

so i guess one of the worst part in this third year life would be this teacher who is by any means one of the most unreasonable people i have ever met. she is so unreasonable that she cant even see effort even when it sticks up in her ass (not that we would want to be anywhere near that region and there probably is not enough room for all of our effort especially all those hard working heads :( ). 16/30 who the hell gives a grade like that?? i know we deserved more but hell you get what you get and either you live with it or fight it... i personally dont like violence so hayyy...

another bad thing about this time is that i have absolutely no ideas for the arial ni our prom o_O im sooo sorry...but i really cant think of anything... God who the F said Broadway...that just so broad...haha...anyway no inspiration. id actually want a big shandelier thing but thats too used and kind of given as a suggestion already...i think...and well i dont know what it is actually... so i dont really know what could be used as a flying thingy for the prom hayyy gone is my muse...its taking a piss along with my sanity... God its taking them long to find the lu...(haha dont think i spelled that right...just sound it out nalang please :P)

and another bad thing is that i have absolutely no prospects for my prom date...not that i actually want one but this damned event if F@#%!~$ graded...could aa be more shitty...so there... and the dress is suposed to be coctail ...i hear...but i could be wrong... i am not wearing that... -_- and knowing my mom she probably would make me wear what my sister wore...so haha like were the same size? well i dont mind really...haha hayyy..never mind

(oh yeah gusto ko mag basket uli :( sorry sa mga groupmates ko sa inepiness ko sa pag dance...hehe sana di kayo madamay sa mga mali ko :P )

well now lets talk happy...

okay hahaha actually wala na akong oras mag kwento :)) kasi 12:13 na :)) grabe so di ako matutulog kwento nalang sainyo...well in short happy ako sa friends ko...haha kasi some stuf are not so good right now...and you guys make me happy (grabe other than my family kayo lang kilala ko...haha ang liit talaga ng mundo ko...kaya if i ever loose you...paano na yan...wala na akong kasama...haha di ko sasabihin wag umalis...seguro love nalang the moments left...and hopefully madami pa yon :P) ...also some of my grades are like weeee so thats good... also that i actually was able to help our group in ip so wee im not just extra baggage...another happy is that math camp sa fri no classes weeee and i really like my group so fun :) i hope...haha. also sabu said we would be attending her version of our mass and that makes me sooo excited. im so curious what its like for them. it sometimes so enjoyable to learn new things about people. hope the plan pushes through. so thoes are my happies in short... 12:22 na so yan after 9 mins of typing thats all that came out...sooo slow me weeeee... haha

i probably forgot to metion quite a few things but anyway...since school started no dreams for this dreamer...that makes me sad but i guess thats okay... hope they comeback soon...but you know i bet their with my muse and sanity pissing on my thoughts...please come back soon... ^_^


haha thats all for now ...(this is soooo scary...i just felt a shiver..a warm one and im all alone down stairs...God this is creepy...aalis na nga...sorry nalang...di ko na matake)

edit: hahaha this nga pala is my 50th post weeee..wala lang happy na nakaabot ng ganito blog ko... haha kahit minsan kung ano ano lang laman nito. ^_^ haha grabe have you ever cried bigla lang...as in nahulog lang...haha wala lang it seemed kind of strange to me...haha la lang anyway :) yun lang ito yung 50th weeeeee :P

Tuesday, November 07, 2006
grades is not everything

but sadly its something

we just got our test results and what do you know...i got the most confusing marks ever. im not sure if im dumn, lazy, smart or lucky...maybe im all of that haha that would be funny though.

before anything else one of the most memorable things in my seeing my paper was seeing the last test being cle and seeing the prayer part. it simply proved that i coudn't spell and that sir was and is very considerate...haha i spelled the words as sined and faild...yes i was completly serious. i only realized it was wrong when my "friendly" seatmate pointed it out laughing. haha that was memorable. kasi naman ang babababa tapos di ko pa maspell -__-

tapos yun next na memorable yung first two subjects of the day...haha kasi naman geom tapos fil sooo ano yon nung nakuha ko grade sa geom super kabilang dulo ng fil....100 tapos 68 sabay...ano yan...? bobo ba ako? o matalino @-) hahaha pero i dont mind i deserve all my grades high or low. :)....pero grabe... nung recess...nung sinabi sakin congrats sa geom naalala ko lang yung fil na bagsak...pag tinanong yung fill naalala ko lang yung fill hayyy maiyak iyak na ako doon sa class...hayy haha wala talagang talent sa pagtigil sa luha...paturo nga dyan...yung mga marunong...(yung super pa na mass nakakalungkot sa grade ko kasi ako lang as in ako lang sa buong family namin nakakagrades na ganyan..so wow...haha maiisip mo talaga na kung hindi ako knowledgable anong meron ako? grabe so much preasure to be smart...pero haha di ko rin nafefeel...the good thing about getting bagsak..promise bagsak na walang masbababa pa... marks as a child hindi na pinapansin ng parents mo masyado yung grades mo :P )

haha sige ito muna mamaya na yung mas detaild discription ng mga grades ko pag kumpleto na hahaha natatakot na ako... sana mataas algeb ko...as in yung 95 plus...para may pagasa pa akong makarecognition please lang please...grabe...

Monday, November 06, 2006
tissue altast

finaly may tissue paper na kami :)) wala lang grabe gaano na katagal na wala kaming paper hayyy i miss it so much na nakalimutan ko na ata kung paano gumamit O_O basta you never understand how white preety and sooo soft and clean tissue paper is untill you live 2 weeks without it...at note addict na addict ka na sa tissue paper...parang yung drugs kapag matagal na wala at addict ka parin kapag na lasa mo parang wow hayyy... haha kasi naman mom ko grabe kung kelan lang mag shoping...

every 4 weeks lang tapos this week pa naging every 6 weeks so ano yon? last last at last week wala kaming tissue paper na magamit :-L grabe soo anoying... at kapag bibili sya ng napkin para sakanya lang...grabe naman...kahit pag sabihin mo di naman nakikinig...ibang tao talaga..

wala kang magagawa...maternal innstincts...haha i guess di naginclude ng pagbili ng tissue paper at pag alala sa mga stuf ng mga anak mo hahahaha anyway wow last day ng ng break...awww natulog lang ako...i swear ang saya non ^_^ hahahahaha

oo nga pala...ayyy hindi pala hhahaha sige aalis na ako hehehe chating nalang gagawin ko at yung rosary thing ^_^ bye bye ^_^

Sunday, November 05, 2006
dreaming again...thank God

i was told before that a dream was a wish your heart makes...where did that come from again? Oh yeah sleeping beauty. and i am lucky that i remember some of them... i love my dreams though creepy they are sometimes... sometimes i get to meet the most amazing strangers refer to this if you havent read it already --> here.( i remembered him after reading 1 line...God ang happy nung feeling ko non hahaha...sayang i dont see him anymore)

lately though ive been dreaming about school...strange dream..but i always disapointed someone in both dreams...i dont remember yesterdays dream...i forgot to write it down (that's another bad thing about my dreams if i dont write it down i dont remember them) i just know it was about school classmates...well i tell you the today one becuase...well it was interesting and i still remember it...yay...anyway yan i was in school then the class was divided into groups and it was kind of strange becuase the next thing that happened was that we were in a hotel...that was the first station in the game...then we were...well i actually forget...damn it...but we were like spy thingys and had to get something and keep safe something (parang nung batch encounter) ....then well we finaly did...and then we solved something to get to the next place..the next place turned out to be this grassy place out in the open and we went inside it turned out naiwan ko yung thing na nakuha namin from the previous thing so di kami nakatuloy...feeling really guilty i went back to get it when nakapasok na ako...nagstart na yung isang group with their activity there...so parang nag crawl pa ako sa floor...tapos maycomotion sa labas...so pumunta ako sa terace...at ang daming tao na nan doon...biglang may parang parade...na parang dangerous...at i dont know why pero biglang nag change sceen...tapos na yung games at kasama ko na yung mga classmates ko at ang saya nung feeling...haha or nakakarelax kasi tapos na.kinausap pa nga ako nung isang butler thingy...^_^ parang ang cute nya doon sa dream ko...grabe tinulungan nya ata kami sa mission namin sa hotel... :P ganda pa nung personality nya... hehe anyway..yon tapos na dream ko...hayyy..ang strange nga...nagising ako lunch na kasi binasa ko pa yung book ko :P

hehe

so ngayon ang daming cockroach at may bulate/worm na parang snail kasi may antena....grabe an g gross nung feeling... :-@ uhhh...anyway wag na maarte kahit super lumilipadlipad pa yung mga animals at super nakakadistract sinusulat ko parin to kasi ayoko na makalimot... :)

anyway yung lang naman byebye na...oo nga pala isang araw nalang tapos tapos na yung break :(( so sad :(...pero happy din :)

Friday, November 03, 2006
over night kila ged

alot has happened lately and i dont know where to start...well firstly nawala yung unang post ko...yung november 4 -_- soo parang WTF haha anyway i guess kwneto ko uli haha

so first pumunta kami sa bahay ni ged nung thursday (kami being me and my kuya). nawala kami papuntang bahay nya so haha nakakatakot yon. tapos nung pagdating ko sa bahay ni ged natrauma ako sa mga aso nya o_O i swear nakakatakot sila...parang kakagatin yung ulo mo tapos aapak-apakan pa after nila kainin yung ulo. hayyy anyway so after kumain and stuf nag laro kami ng playstation at nanood ng scary movie which is sooooo scary ewan ko ba kung bakit pa ako nanonood ng mga ganyon kung ang dali ko matakot. anyway yung title ay "shutters" :( sooo hate it... pero okay naman sya...i mean at least may story... anyway after non (actually tinatakot pa ni ged so parang ako o_O ang shit mo putang ina ka) soo... anyway...nanood kami ng love actually after non at nag luto si ged ng dinner..(hayy white rice how i adore you) then natulog kami...super di ako makatulog sa takot worse pa doon tinatakot pa ako ni ged (no mercy talaga!!) so nakatulog ata ako ng 2 o 3 at nagising ng mga 3 o 4 tapos nagising ng mga 5 o 6 tapos nagasing finaly ng mga 7 :) tapos umalis kami papuntang sm ng 8 :) (hehehe pagcommute binabawal ako ng mom ko unless may marunong hahaha) nag commute kami nakarating ng sm ng mga 11..sooo ano yon mga 3 hours ng pag commute, saya no? tapos dahil sa pag commute ng three hours di na kami nakapag swimming sa lourdes (di ako sure sa place) tapos kumain kami ng lunch...hotdog akin...tapos nameet ko yung "buddies" ni ged na yfc...may plano sila ngayon so parang ako being yung only hindi yfc hindi naman ako na op -_- yeah right pero okay naman...nag skating kami at i love skating kahit nakakatakot mahulog...anyway after non nameet namin si missy at nanood kami ng (oh yeah nga pala nung pumuntang kaming bookstore... i.e. power books sabi nila sold out sila sa 13th book ng SoUE so parang ako o_O shit nyo!!!) movie na "txt" okay naman sya...pero walang story halos...so yun lang reklamo ko doon...di naman nawalan ng shock factor... tapos pinakain kami (ged at ako at missy) ng mom ni missy sa red ribbon (first time ko makakain dito) tapos nung umalis na kami at nagbyebye kay missy. sanabi nila ged at momy nya hindi daw okay yung pagkain doon pero ako gusto ko :( sarap nga nung nakain ko... pero di nalang ako nagcoment sa sinabi nila kasi guest lang naman ako...at may right sila sa opinion nila :) tapos dahil hindi pa nakakakain yung mom ni ged pumunta kami sa yellow cab...(mind you firstime ko makapunta doon) at kumain ng maliit na pizza at konting noodles. so yon super bloated at fat na ako non tapos bumuli ako ng jolly twirl sa jollibie... ^_^hahaha gusto ko kasi ng icecream non. so anyway kahit pagod na pagod na ako sa kalalakad namin (super nung sa sm -_- ang layo ng nalakaran namin ni ged) pumunta pa kami doon sa isang mall na malapit. so yon super pagod ako at constipated....at dahil damit lang at sapatos halos ang nan doon super bored ako -_- hay... super....anyway umalis kami ng mga 10...nakauwi sa bahay ni ged ng mga 10:30 tapos sinundo ako ng kuya ko mga 12...so ano yon 3 araw ako nasabahay ni ged? hay okay naman at least nakalabas na din :P

so yan yung nangyari nakauwi ako na super nag crave ng coke at super nag hanap kami ng kuya ko na bukas ng store pero dahil unreasonable yung prices sa 7 11 at walang bukas na store tuloy parin ang craving ko till the next day...hayyyy pero yan masaya diba? masaya naman ang mga araw ko....nakakabasa na ako ng books at nakakatulog ng matagal...kahit miss ko na friends ko ill see them soon naman :) oo nga pala haha if anyones interested pwede ako matulog sa bahay nyo(ang parasite talaga) anytime kasi di protective parents ko ^_^ hahaha at pwede din sa bahay ko dahil wala ate ko :) hahaha

Wednesday, November 01, 2006
in memories

wow kakatapos ko palang ng tue. with morrie...at wow..hahaha nakakapagisip talaga yon... wow...haha as in mapapaisip ka talaga. wala lang i love it ^_^ at tapos ko nadin yung inkspell which is really nice pero nakakabitin i want another instalment =P~ hahaha grabe

anyway i had a dream o_O this time i actually remember parts of it...ang sarap ng makatulog ng mabuti ^_^ grabe so anyway yung panaginip malungkot...kasi yung part na naalala ko may hinahawak akong dog tapos may mga masasamang tao gusto sumakit sakanya...wala akong magawa so hinahawak ko nalang ulo nung doggy tapos nag wiwisper ng words para huminahon yung doggy ko...eh yon... :'( sad lang talaga kasi nung unang part nung dream nag bonding kami...sayang panaginip na sad yung pag gising ko... hayyy anyway since maaga pa wala akong ginagawa....actually kahit 1:33 na maaga parin yon =)) so bye bye muna baka babalik ako mamaya ^_^