Wednesday, May 16, 2007
christopher pike('s books) is(are) love :)

HAAAAAAY excited akoooooo as in natutuwa bones ng katawan ko sa tuwa HAAAAY grabe alam ko its really stupid na matutuwa ako at di "pangpatalino" to pero still sya ang favorite ko as in para sakin the best na. i mean fine magaling si Og Mandino at sina, Chinua Achebe, ung nag sulat ng harry potter at yung lord of the rings, magaling din yung nag sulat ng chronicles of narnia, at yung nagsulat ng the alchemist (at 11 minutes) at magaling din yung manunulat na si mitch alb-something yung nag sulat ng for one more day at yung 5 people you meet in heaven...magagaling din sila at nakakatuwa pero still.... i like some one better :)) hahahaha labo kasiiii masnaeenjoy ko ang pagsusulat nya pero theres a problem :( ang hirap hanapin ng books nya for a while now di ko nahahanap books nya dahil minsan minsan lang ako nakakalibot sa isang books store at not to metion na sa second hand book stores ko nalang sya nakikita. hay minsan lang talaga nakakadiscourage na di ko mahanap sya

...tapos today sabi ng ate ko na dati pa nya daw sya nakikita sa mga second hand books stores parang ako waaaa talaga??? so yon :)) pinahanap ko sakanya yung mga libro at bilhin nalang nya tapos bayaran nalang akooooo weeeee may bagong buks na ako baka :D haaay his books are love :) man i cant get enough.

nga pala pangalan nya Christopher Pike :) at eto lang yung mga books nya na meron ako

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
2nd unusual summer entry

Impossible final exams

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.

Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.

Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System circa 1750. Prove your thesis.

Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)

Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will wupport your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.

Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

Mathematics: Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a straightedge and compass. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s.

Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Metaphysics: Describe in detail the probably nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.

Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

Physchology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, Hammuarabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.

Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Religion: Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Extra Credit: Define the universe, and give three examples.

Monday, May 14, 2007
15th summer entry

i am a god damned home-body. today we went out with our mom for mothers day. one day late to avoid the mothers day traffic. and as usual it was okay with a little bit of awkwardness and fun but all i have to say is my head hurts to high heaven and i feel like barfing. this is the reason why i dont really like going out. lights hurt my eyes...too many blink, too many colors. its sort of painful to my delicate eyes. i like the beach, i like other peoples homes, i like simple places like hotels and stuff but not places like malls or eastwood. damn it my head still hurts... i am a god damned home-body.

annnd fun gameeeee :D PRESS THIS i promise :)

14th summer entry

today i watched tarzan and i rekindled the feeling i felt when i first watched it. its one of the most beautiful movies i've watched, one of my favorites as well. i guess you might think i havent watched that many movies and yes i havent but what makes it mean any less? its that kind of movie that makes you believe again in wishing, in believing in others... in trying. it even makes you think anything is possible. i guess those are the goals of disney movies... it just catches my interest thats all. i want to say more but i then would sound like some one i dont really want to be... but i guess i already am that person... okay so thats basically it...so good morning and night :)

Saturday, May 12, 2007
13th summer entry

i guess misconceptions are a thing for me. i always make assumptions. stupid and invalid assumptions. i feel stupid after i find out my assumptions are wrong, who wouldn't? i made an assumption before and now i see how stupid it was and i can never take it back. i put too much thought in it and let my mind think that what i was actually thinking was what i thought some one else was thinking. gets? haaay its all just confusing really...

but you know when i commute i feel like such a small piece in this really big world. here are these 100s of people i'll never know. i'll never talk to. haaay...and i just feel like asking those people what their names our...if their happy... but then i'd look like a stalker or something. and anyway most people i see on the street are really old guys so thats kind of weird for a girl to befriend an old guyperson who is a stranger. :P anyway thats about it...i got my brain back by the way...and i just bandaged my ego... :) its getting better... like i said before..im a crying person thats all i really need to feel better :) and an ear to hear me.

Thursday, May 10, 2007
100th entry

this is the 100th entry of my blog. excluding drafts that have never been published. and ill keep it short. i cry, almost every chance i get. im always going to be that cry baby. trying to never grow up. but the thing is when i cry over something most likely im over that something very soon. and i dont know about you but for me thats a good thing. and when i talk about things and i cry at the same time i get over it even faster. almost the very next day. and i have to thank these people who have always been there...letting me cry and letting me talk. letting me be me without the fear of being laughed at or made fun of for doing the things i do...so this entry is dedicated to those people...who are there...because even if sometimes its may not seem much sometimes for others thats the most they can wish for.

today at the jeepny place where i catch the jeep, as i rode the vehicle, i saw this guy and he reminded me of the other guy i met the other day. man his face looked so good my hands were itching to sketch his face... when he would look up i wanted to get it in drawing...a slight glance from a beautiful face. i imagined it to be a beautiful picture if captured well...haay but sadly i lack talent and if i did try i'd have to stare at him for a very long time to engrave in my mind the image...and sadly i can imagine how creepy that would look. :)) so anyway thats my story...my lack of talent and the beauty of the world..oh yeah today i craved soooo much to be holding a camera...see when i was walking to our village gate i saw a butterfly just there on the ground and being eaten by ants..it was sadly beautiful and yet i couldnt capture its image...and when i was going home as i looked at the sky i saw a swan, formed by clouds, flying. it looked so perfect i was shocked...it was amazing..and now the only prof i have is my memory...oh well...i guess somethings are meant for the instant...oh well...bother...hahaha sige thats it nothing extravigant for my 100th but its something special to me so there :) bye

Wednesday, May 09, 2007
12th summer entry

yesterday i lost my brain. it turned to mush that sadly seeped out of the nooks of my skull. thats what happened to my sad, used up, dumb brain. it turned to mush. today since my brain was gone i made several mistakes, did several things that were stupid and would probably have been avoided if only i had my brain or maybe if i just gave a damn. so today, since i had no more brain, i lost my ego. this happened because of all those stupid things i did. my pride diminished to a speck which the wind blew away. now not only do i not have the capability to understand basic human thought now i also lack the capacity to be confident and now i am ashamed. of what? lets just say a lot of things to make this easier for you and me. so there. i lost my brain yesterday and i've lost my ego/pride today. i wonder if i'll lose anything tomorrow?

p.s. i beat up my own ego i guess so no ones really to blame...its just a lot of bad things over and over again. a repetitive beating for several days...that can destroys ones ego...i guess mine couldnt take it anymore. so its on vacation

p.p.s im attending expert lessons still. its okay, i guess. we learn and stuff. so i guess its all for the best.

Monday, May 07, 2007
1st unusual summer enrty

cute moving pictures :)











for ONE tree hill fanatics :)












(yes depp is the last thing you'd want to see :)

Sunday, May 06, 2007
11th summer entry

a lot of things are changing, like the fact that im sleeping before 12 am because i have to get up early and that im commuting now. though i only know how to commute to one place at least i can do it by my self because finally after many conversations with my parent urging him to let me commute i have finally broken their wall and proven i can accomplish that at least. something else that changed is that now i have friends in the place that i study at. that is a relief i have long forgotten and missed. im also studying during summer. i've never done that before, i just dont study and now thats all im going to do. i haven't gone out yet of the philippines this summer, which is really a change for me. my family as well has changed, unlike the whole year my older sister is back and you know what? all summer my whole family has never eaten together, not once and imagine that were all here so whats stopping us?

so if you noticed at all this is a list of some of the things that have changed in my life, just some of the things i've noticed to be different and i guess noticeable. (labo) so now im gonna ramble on and tell whats been happening inside of me because i am an emo person and this is an emo blog.

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have you heard the saying 'the heart wants what it wants'? why isn't there one like that for the brain? why doesn't the brain want what it wants? considering the fact that the brain does so much of the work of organizing our thoughts and actions you'd think the emotions where found there as well. my brain and heart are quarreling right now and frankly im siding with my brain. see, all the heart does, in my opinion, is fall. it falls and falls till either some one catches it or it crashes to the ground and depending on the distance of the jumping platform from the ground it bounces of the ground or breaks into a million pieces. it then waits to be fixed or it simply fixes it self if its not too shattered. it gets up again to be broken or caught once more. its a stupid cycle, its a stupid heart. the brain on the other hand thinks first. it makes up possibilities with the facts at hand and sometimes even with just assumptions. it remembers pain and avoids it when the opportunity arrives. the brain makes it so that its easier to live in this world.

right now my heart wants to change; its falling to one fact i never ever imagined my self getting into. and all my brain is screaming is for me to stop and look at my self. to see if my heart is right and that change is for the better or for myself to catch my heart before it falls to far and breaks. i just dont want to be that girl who wants but never gets. who always just stand there and never knows and never finds out out of fear. my heart just stands on the ledge, farther and father out, just tempting faith, wanting to prove it can take the fall and crash, if that is what happens. its a stubborn heart, i know, and damn it all my brain wants to do is tie it down and beat the sense into it. but sadly they are so far apart and all it can do now is send signals and i guess there thoughts are what they are.

so in summary i just dont want to be that girl who gets broken. and as usual my brain is afraid to change who it is. its afraid to be different from who i am today and just simply let my heart fall and be caught by who ever or no one. now dont get me wrong i've fallen before. i've jumped for family, friends and other stuff to, ive even jumped for my self but i've heard that the new jump my heart wants to take hurts more. my brain heard and so did my heart. so now my brain wants to never feel it and my heart wants to challenge the world and contradict it. like i said its a stupid heart. i just dont know whos going to win this. there both seem so strong and i guess i go back to the old saying the heart wants what it wants and that makes me afraid that maybe that leads to a new saying the heart gets what it wants... whether it just wants to be broken over and over again just to prove a point or to actually be caught.

Thursday, May 03, 2007
10th summer entry

im not me here...i dont know me here...me is happy here and theres something different with her tone. its sometimes frightening to see people change into someone else...thats well also them.
i guess this is just a warning...

its been a while i guess :) its may already right? well actually its only been a few days but i guess alot has happened for me. a lot in a sense that they dont usually happen to me. well my father and two sisters with my older sisters friends went to a farm my lola had made her family which, thankfully enough, included her grand kids. damn theres even a nice pool where you can waddle(?), float, swim(??), soak and i guess other things you can imagine which include water, stairs, filters and a bunch of chemicals such as chlorine and some powder stuf too >:) MWAHAAHAhahahaha. anyway so what was i saying oh yeah they left already and here i am alone...in this house with my mother who comes home later then 10 so it's like shes not even here, but you know who's complaining :), my brother who uses the computer a lot and the ates who make food and clean the house :)... a blast right? weeeee (note sarcastic tone :D) but you know honestly it okay nothing major is different only that i feel (is it wrong of me to say?) more at home. i dont know, i do miss though that my sister (the younger one) memorizes the times of my shows and i dont usually have to look if its started already. now i missed a few of my shows already darn but what can you do right? bad memory but its okay its not the end of the world because i can live with out my shows :)

anyway on to the real thing that is really making me uber-duber happy as in up into high sky, not be sacred and just start skipping happy....well not that happy but it just fun to think that i am that happy. so what happened? well i'll start with the day because i am just that sadistic >:)

so today is the second to the last day of my chem camp experience. we had that last experiment yesterday which was making icecream. you'd think it was fun right? well i can say it kind of was

[some might not like swearing so just skip this paragraph :) its asdadas so when that stops you can read again :) ]


:)) well because my group, we stupidly forgot to bring the ingredients and we had to go to the store and buy some and it was so fucked up annoying when they just wouldn't try something that would only take us a few minutes and probably save us a lot of time and not only that but also this one person kept on complainning that we were the last in to hand in the ice cream and i kept saying thats because we started really late and she'd say okay lang yan. so i was like what the fuck you as hole???? im not the one complaining im trying to explain to your fucked up mind why were the last... -_- it might not seem much well that was because i was already fired up because they were 'afraid' to ask the people at the lunch place if they had milk and sugar :| ugh... being pissed at some people is a hard thing to do so im over it :) some people i guess are just different from what you want them to be

so today we got our prized from the games that were played during the duration of the camp and they were Pringles, so that was good :)) then we were told to pick a number so we would have a place to put our posters. see there was a poster making contest were in we as a group would a poster, makes sense right? then we would line up and explain to the 4 judges separately what our poster meant and answer also the questions they had for us. easy peasy no? well i looked at the sheet of paper and i saw number 14 first and before i could say it my friend(?)/groupmate sheila picked 14 too so i was fine with that :) we were the only one with only two members. so we went to our places...

[oh yeah a little history first before i proceed so that you would have a chance to fully understand to what extent of surprise and happiness i felt then. (*you may skip this part :)]

one the first day of the chem camp i was this stranger to all the people there. i was just staring at them and reading my book. (at different times because honestly thats sort of impossible to do at the same time) and anyway fast forward to us playing games on the field across the laboratory. i met this girl who said hi to me and met her friend and another person. all girls. so here we were attaching string to a plastic cup and we were concentrating and once we finished (second place mind you hehe :) ) we sat down. i looked across and i saw this boy and damn he looked really cute, well my kind of cute. :P and well i dont know...i guess its just nice to see cute guys? not that i was looking, i just saw and while our group 'volunteered' to play the next game he sat on the grass. as we were playing, when ever i had to face the crowd, i couldn't help but (but didn't always) look that way...hmmm a sign? :)) joke anyway i was supposed to be in A class with my other 'friends' and then suddenly when they read it again my name was changed now not only did i look like a lier to the people i just met but also now i dont know...there were two Mendoza's in one class. later i found out he wasn't in my class but that was okay it wasn't the end of the world. so a lot later :)) ...almost a week and a half later :)), my 'friend' that was my group mate that sort of pisses me of later :) (the story before this the one where i swear a lot) tells us she has a crush in the other section im like talaga, sino? then she describes him and it perfectly matches cute guy and i was like -_- so? joke :)) i don't really remember what i was thinking then. i was thinking something for sure, i just dont remember. back to story :)


at our places we sat down and waited then guess who was group number 7, the group right across us? well it was cute guys group and i was kind of happy because that was such a cute coincidence. so many factors could have changed that outcome but oh well it did happen :). then after awhile when the second judge asked us if we were only two i said yes...after the questioning and reporting to the judge number 2 he asked me if dalawa lang ba talaga kayo? honestly i was shocked, i mean that implied he was listening to our report and that he didnt ask my other group mate because he wanted to ask me. okay reading to much into it but what the hell :)) so we talked a bit. he said our poster looked nice even though we just made it in one day, he said he could draw but only modern(?) stick figures which was kind of funny :)) then he told me about how come he wasnt in the class picture and about how they had the most unique poster. he then said "jules" and put out his hand for a shake and i said " ah...marie" and we shook hands... while we had our short conversation i noticed his smile, which was really honestly just cute and sweet, his sparkling eyes and an outgoing nature but i also saw that he was afraid of the quiet and stillness of being alone in a crowd. its sometimes sad how some people are like that but thats okay..to his his own right? or something like that :P

okay so this is an interlude the first day of our experts thing when i went down i saw him and headed straight for the stairs again and you know what happened? he called me out. he remembered my name and i honestly felt my heart stop for a moment. anyway just to justify myself he was the only guy who talked to me during the chem camp just out of want...and not that we had a group work together he was also the only boy who i actually held hands with there too...if that counts as holding his hand... :)) okay so enough justifying myslef on with the sort :)

so anyway after awhile we went to the glassmaking guy on the other end of the two adjoined classrooms. (ommygad ang haba pa nito im soo sorry...) this part was uber fun because we got to see glass being formed in different shapes and sizes. it was really fun and interesting and it was nice to sit down and be frightened to the outer core just because a glass thing might break and shatter into tiny pieces one of which would enter your skin and make you bleed and cause an infection. whew a least that didn't happen so that made it more fun. i also learned that glass is so much better then plastic because it doesn't give of toxins and is reusable always :) so that was nice to know and very informative.

then after that and two more talks with the judges they went home. i on the other hand waited at mcdo for my brother. lets not talk about the embarrassment i felt because i saw the childhope thing and i felt guilty... i really wanted to join but my schedule just didn't allow it...so i sat down ate my lunch and ice cream and waited. waited. waited. so in short i waited. labo... then i get a text from my brother. "want to commute by yourself" and i did... and im happy because i finally did it by my self :D weeee i mean i was afraid that i would get lost but it's only two rides so there wasn't that much trouble opportunities. i also wasn't so afraid because i guess cute guy talked to me. not a crush mind you he's just a cute boy :) so there... thats my day. fun no? so many things happened for me and i am left happy :) so bye bye while i watch tv :D

Labels: happy