Monday, October 09, 2006
remember

I am very sorry to those (though few you may be) who have been reading my blog. I understand that it has been quite sloppy and anoying. i want to make it matter somehow, yet all that seems to come out are these stupid words.

i dont know anymore why does everyone have to want to change? why is everyone evolving...when they have to leave people behind... change... people seem to like change... and yet all i want to do is to sit down and hug the person to death. all i want is to hold their hand and now the'll be there. but i guess that is too much to ask. too much to ask you friends to stop living for the sake of you being safe. too much to ask them to be sad just so that you wouldn't feel alone. i guess it would just be all too much. one can dream right?

i miss something. though i'd never ask for it. that would be selfish of me. how could you expect someone to give it when they need it more than you? life is peculiar...

today was strange i did nothing. it was like i couldn't move to do anything. like i knew that no matter what happened it would end up to be useless so i guess i quit while i was ahead.

there i go again. im so sorry. it's all i can seem to do these days. blabber. Im at the bottom of the wheel again i guess. and I do know so many more people have huge problems compared to mine. yet i cant help being sad. right now i feel empty...and i dont even know how to fill myself...