Sunday, September 23, 2007
dreams

i wont complain about school nor will i tell stories of the hectic week. I will not babel on and on about mistakes i've made nor will i bother you with details of my confused state. I will tell you though of something that has caught my attention. as i was moving around my multiply account i came across an entry about a boy or, i'd rather say, a man. i read about him and how i felt and i can vaguely remember those moments with him, in dreams though they were. he had beautiful eyes. i mentioned two dreams there but there were 2 others i can recall. I'll only say the short versions of the stories because i can barely remember them myself and because its sometimes nice to leave a trace of things for people to imagine themselves.

1. we were running in a hunted house or something of the sort and it was also some sort of bring me/gathering hunt. well, i was in the store and he came to the stall and sat down. i remember his eyes and how captivating they were. we just sat. then (as all dreams do for me anyway) the next scene showed us in a room, hiding from the creepy things trying to eat us, if my memory serves me right. there was only one bed and we needed our sleep. as we lay in bed i was really scared because of all the things trying to eat us out side of the room. i guess sensing my fear and anxiety he spooned me and hugged me as well and amazingly it felt really good. i could feel his body heat and i was comforted by that. he was calm whilst i was panicking. and that is my dream. :)

2. we were at a cliff house, my family, me and other people and it was strange but i had some friends over and he was there... it was a dark room with weird stuff and like big masks that were used for plays during the Elizabethan times and i remember seeing a red or dark blood red ratty couch and a carpet that had intricate patterns all over it and it was a bit musky. we were talking about a project and i remember staring at him... his eyes rather. and then next scene (or from some other dream im not sure) we were outside the house and near the clify part and there he was... and i dont remember anymore...

its was nice to dream of him...and i remember the last dream i had i think was when the world was ending and everyone was rushing around... he was there (with a bunch of people or not) and they were sining and being calm while everyone was panicking. i was drawn to him, his eyes. and i felt calm too. i stopped running and walked towards them and (sat on the table with him or stood beside him) sang... i remember a calm voice emitting from all of us at once, it was like we were one but not also. i could here their voices individually. i think i then turned to him and i saw his smile and a light that was softly glowing or rapping itself around him... he was like an angel

where my entry is found (sorry in advance for the typos and wrong grammar): link

on a different yet related note:
(anyway..it may not seem like much... and its strange that a friend of mine just said that it hurts to not feel love given back...that life was not worth living anymore. it really makes me think, are all these dreams of some non existing /not yet here guy worth nothing? and that if no one loves me back will i want everything to end? its strange really, i've never been in love and i cant really tell how much it hurts, i can only phantom what effect it'll have on someone. )