Thursday, April 26, 2007
8th summer entry

the world is always different from what it seems. people usually act differently from what you want them to do. we end up doing things differently from what we essentially plan.

i used to think that i was still that innocent little girl who believed in everyone, who thought that everyone acted as i would. but i guess the world wanted to run while i still was learning to walk. people are maturing so fast that i can seem to get a grip. whether you call it confidence or antisocialisim (not a word but what the hell) that lets me sit by myself in a fast food outlet and just reading without getting bored for three to four hours or whether you call me boring or a child for preferring staying at home and watching t.v. to going out and malling or bar hopping, most people find those things unusual for a girl my age. but what can you do when thats what you like? when you'd rather do group work by yourself and out of your whole family your the only one (including your younger siblings) who hasn't drank anything alcoholic excluding the required sip of wine every new year? what can you do when apparently your body and mind is just incapable to do grown up things and think in the grownup way. i just dont get growing up...

so anyway my dad little sister and big sister are going to the farm of my lola and i can say im a bit envious. i want break like that. i dont want to be stuck in my house with only my older brother and my mother there. it's just not right to leave me. but i guess thats a thing i have to deal with.

i have a problem with time, it doesn't seem to want me to keep on holding on. it always finds a way to creep on and move on. it doesn't even have the courtesy to say goodbye...