Thursday, March 08, 2007
why?

okay so ive tried to write this around three times and im feeling really stupid right now. how do i explain what amazing, disapointing, fantabolous, unbelievable and heart-breaking moments in just one entry? i guess another question would be... why would i tell it here?

im still wondering why would anyone share their thoughts with out the possibility of every knowing anyone better? why would you give a part of yourself to everyone (who reads your internet blog) and yet expect nothing in return, letting people know you and yet knowing nothing of them? how would that fill you? you just cant simply empty yourself and leave it as that...

OKAY so everything for me right now is as confusing as hell. extremely confusing. i have a lot of stories to tell and they all seem so important to me and yet i know their not really that interesting.

March 1:
we had our the thing...still cant spell it...and it was ultimately really fun. memories here and there. sister acting like her usual self. cooking. cleaning. delivering. preparing food. and simply laughing with friends. all in all it was fun.

went home then it was my sisters birthday and i ate 7 pizzas from pizza hut and all stuffed (the cheese kind lang) it was yummy though i probably shouldnt have eatten it all in one sitting...hehe

March 2:
ohhh yeah....
we were at the lab and ms hebs made kwento about her college days and told a funny story about killing rats and collecting stuf from them. then no clubs today, was happy for that :), and watched this thing na balet well almosted watched.... i kind of fell a sleep at some point. it was okay...

March 3:
went to school then to the mall to eat with sila fran, PDG, angela and rosalyn. then they commented on something on the car ride to angela's and i found it kind of funny...haha i had to stop myself from laughing out loud :P. then we went to angelas and "worked" (which includes eating, ym-ing, playing, working, talking and other stuff they may think of) it browned-out once and we worked by candle light till angela screamed her head out and we followed suit and only then realized she was screaming because the light came back. haha -_- went back to frans house and tambayed till kuya picked me up.

March 4:
bought new glasses

March 5:
well i think that day i fell asleep...hmm yes i think i did...im not really sure...mind is quite blurry about that...

March 6&7:

both really confusing days... was depressed and i know it's not the shrug off king but the really not good kind coz when ever *some* people tried to touch me i felt like taking their hand away, rubbing my skin with sand paper and cleaning it with alcohol. its not their fault in anyway...im just really a freak. well on the 6 i killed ms jose on the evaluation and well when she called me into her office i was like...shit...nalaman kaya nya na ako nagsulat non??? :)) tapos nagjojoke pa kami ng mga malalapit sa pinto na lagot ako...then when ms told me they *a group picked me as one of the people to go to the chem camp i was like -_- then 0_0 the o_O weh!? well really i couldnt believe it... im not the smartest nor the brightest (duh the same thing) so why would they pic me? and now that i think about it its kind of really scary... :( i dont know, i dont do well with strangers... this made me feel lost confused happy ecstatics "special but not really" ...and i already felt lost confused depressed fustrated... that thing just made my life more interesting and yet just the more complicated then before.
March 7 was well today...i mean yesterday and i was again (sorry its so repetitive-->) sad. a series of stuff did that to me and, the worst part of all, i let it. but then again God was actually realy i dont know amazing? i needed to forget and he gave the perfect distraction.

swimming

so that was like the blessing of a life time for me and i forgot everything...honestly. naisip ko lang fall, bend, dive, push friends over the edge of the pool...-_- (*coughfrancough), glid, neste dive...na super sa sakit!!! :)) tapos getting another bukol tapos people asking me kung tama yung dive nila...me asking kung tama yung akin, people just having fun... people smiling... oo nga pala one time during practice ms fe called me and said my kick was strong (parang ako o_O sure di ka bulag or something??) tapos pinadive ako tapos!!! PALPAK!!!!! MAAAN nakakahiya!!! :(( super as in pagkaalis ng paa ko sa edge alam ko nang palpak dive ko -_- bad trip!!!! tapos pina dive naman si lyra ang ganda!!!! so tapos nyon pinaredeam nya daw ako so yon pinadive uli ako so super takot na takot ako kasi baka mali uli nakakahiya na yon:( tapos yon Thank God tumama na so humappy ako. tapos yung tatlong magaling na ayaw aminin (alys, angel at pauline) pina-dive din :) magaganda din sila :D tapos yon...yun araw ko...masaya nadin...

ngayon...be glad you've added to my sadness...you know me more now and i barely know you... it hurts sometimes...just knowing i dont know you and yet we pretend to know each other..you here reading my thoughts... when really all i know about you is your using the internet and you've read till the end.

Labels: confused, emo?, happy, sad, school, thinking